Read one habit in context, with its possible use and cost.
An original full guide to keeping a mental fairness tally, with ordinary examples, mixed answers, raw frequency and clear limits.
Four original frequency prompts. At least three numeric ratings are needed; sum divided by rated items, displayed to one decimal. Unscored responses are not zero. No combined total or assigned type.
A mental tally, rather than a fairness measurement
This part records how often you mentally counted who initiated plans, compared adjustments, recalled past contributions or noticed what seemed to come back. Those are your observations of your own attention. The mean does not measure the actual distribution of work, establish a debt or prove that either person acted unfairly. It also cannot distinguish an accurate concern about imbalance from an incomplete impression of what happened.
Noticing who initiated recent plans
Imagine remembering that you suggested the last few meetings. You may want to understand whether the arrangement feels shared, while the other person may have contributed in ways not captured by that count. The useful question is what the tally includes and leaves out. This example does not settle whether effort was equal, and the questionnaire asks you to rate no one else’s contribution or worth.
Attention to balance can have a cost
A mental tally may make an unspoken expectation easier to notice. If the count becomes the only way to read an exchange, details outside it may receive less attention. These are possibilities, not consequences proved by a higher mean. A lower mean does not demonstrate greater generosity or a fairer arrangement. No score turns care into a debt that must be repaid with access, attention or participation.
Different tallies can produce the same mean
You might often recall earlier help when considering another request but rarely count who starts plans. Another person might notice initiation closely while giving little thought to returning favours. Their means can be equal. The four prompts sample different moments, so do not assume one number identifies a transactional attitude or a fixed habit in every relationship. The chosen context and the individual answers still matter.
Compare a tally with giving beyond capacity
Keeping a mental tally and giving beyond available capacity are separate parts. Someone can frequently overextend and also frequently notice the imbalance they perceive. Another may keep clear limits while tracking the division of tasks. Neither pattern is a type assigned by this test. Pauses and delayed conversations describe other moments. The four bars retain the mix without adding a red-flag total, a relationship rank or a verdict about a partner.
Clarify what the count is about
If useful, identify one kind of contribution you had in mind: time, initiating a plan, adjusting a schedule or an ordinary favour. Ask what expectation the count represents, rather than using the result as evidence against someone. You need not share a private example, settle a disagreement or make the score lower. Keep only an observation that helps you describe your own side, or stop here.
How the four-item frequency is calculated
Rate each prompt from 1, never, to 5, almost always, or explicitly leave it unscored. Three means sometimes. After all sixteen responses, each part needs at least three numeric ratings. For example, 2, 3 and 5 with one unscored item give 10 / 3, displayed as 3.3, rather than 10 / 4. With only two numeric ratings, the part shows insufficient information. Bars locate the raw mean on the 1–5 response range, not on a percentage, severity scale or population ranking.
An original self-reflection with clear limits
FermatMind authored these sixteen prompts and full guides to describe ordinary habits on your own side of one adult close relationship. The four parts are not exclusive personality types, a diagnosis or a test of someone else. Reliability, validity, norms and language equivalence have not been established. Ratings do not establish actual fairness, safety, motives or outcomes. Every guide remains available, including when all responses are unscored, and no result requires disclosure, contact or a decision about continuing a relationship.