Leave Both Closeness and Pausing Open to Present Choice
Separate everyday closeness, confirmation, comfort and stopping. Most of these six items concern boundaries, so the mean cannot establish how much contact you want or authorize an interaction.
The mean summarizes six mixed statements. It is neither a contact-preference checklist nor a consent score; past acceptance and present willingness are separate.
Closeness and Expressing a Boundary Are Different
- These six statements cover everyday closeness when both want it, deciding again each time, explaining comfort, having wishes noticed, stopping on request and preferences varying by context. Only part of the group concerns closeness itself; much of it concerns confirmation, expression and stopping.
- Someone who agrees with this group may enjoy closeness or may mainly value being asked and being able to pause. Less agreement cannot justify ignoring boundaries. The specific wishes needed for an interaction still come from clear communication at that time.
How the Six-Item Mean Is Calculated
- Add six numeric responses from 1 to 5 for a raw sum of 6–30, then divide by six and display up to four decimal places. Responses 4, 3, 5, 2, 4, 3 total 21 and average 3.5; a total of 29 averages 4.8333. This summarizes agreement, not frequency or population standing.
- The web edition permits an unscored response. One such answer withholds this group’s numbers rather than becoming a 3 or a low score. Other complete groups remain available, and all four guides stay readable. The original Mini requires all 24 numeric responses before personal interpretation; the two completeness policies are stated separately.
An Ordinary Greeting on Arriving Home
- On meeting, your partner asks, “Would you like a hug now, or just a hello?” You are tired and prefer to sit for a while, so you can choose the latter. A previous hug, an established relationship or agreement with test statements does not replace today’s answer.
- If you initially want closeness and then feel uncomfortable, you can say, “Let’s pause.” A useful arrangement makes stopping clear and easy to act on rather than requiring a good enough explanation. The other person’s present willingness also needs to be respected.
Equal Means Do Not Identify the Same Preferences
- One person may rarely want closeness while strongly valuing fresh confirmation and the ability to pause. Another may often enjoy closeness but be uncertain about some statements on expression. Equal sums cannot establish the same contact preferences or reveal either person’s individual answers.
- Preferences can vary with tiredness, location, who is present and the person involved. A mean is not needed to justify a change. You do not have to repeat contact to appear consistent or treat one refusal as a conclusion about the relationship.
Read This Separately from Words, Time and Visibility
- Wanting to discuss a concern does not establish a wish for physical comfort, and wanting quiet closeness does not establish a wish to talk. Distance and verbal expression can have separate conditions. Asking what response is wanted is more specific than inferring it from another group’s score.
- Time together does not imply agreement to every interaction during it. Wanting to introduce a relationship does not imply wanting details of physical closeness made public. The four parts do not combine into a greater-intimacy ranking or cancel each other out.
Choose an Easy Way to Ask for a Pause
- If you both already want a discussion, name a comfortable way to check and pause, such as asking “Is this wanted now?” or saying “Pause.” Keep the arrangement simple. Continued contact is not proof of affection, and lack of resistance is not an explicit expression of willingness.
- You may instead make a private note of what you want now, what you do not want and any boundary you wish to express. No physical exercise or display of results is required. If you do not want the conversation, you can skip this step.
No Score Authorizes Physical Closeness
- Consent must be clear, voluntary, specific and withdrawable. Silence, hesitation, freezing, past acceptance or relationship status do not automatically establish present consent. Your result cannot require another person’s participation, and theirs cannot replace what they express now.
- This guide does not infer sexual behaviour preferences, experience, desire, orientation, trauma or whether a boundary violation has occurred. It stays with the original statements about everyday interactions between adults. Less closeness is not coldness, and valuing confirmation is not a diagnosis.
Source, Web Privacy and Retaking
- This edition preserves the six original Chinese statements and forward scoring from FermatMind’s original Intimacy Preferences Mini. English is a new working translation without established cross-language equivalence. These web examples add explanation; they do not establish psychometric validation.
- Web answers stay only in the current page’s memory and clear on reload, language change or leaving. The website does not inherit the original Mini’s device draft or result cache. When retaking, use the conditions you can confirm then; different responses need not establish a changed preference.